Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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