Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
