During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
