Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
