im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
