He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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