Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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