It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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