HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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