ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
