shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Randomize
