Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
