I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
