If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize