okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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