I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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