Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
did i just pee glitter
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
