it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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