this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
