i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
