the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
