i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
my liver is dry heaving
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
