I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
