i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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