honey bunches of taint.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
