so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
