Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
