I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
