I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Alive.
So much puke
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
