they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
