I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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