after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
