Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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