why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
