He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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