So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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