I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
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