When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
