I am puke
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
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