If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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