Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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