He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
