What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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