All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
