it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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