so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
