What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
