dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
