We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
