Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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