Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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