I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize