i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just invented taco cereal.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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