thus making me awesome and them whores
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
is wine microwaveable?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
