yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
