You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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