this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
