What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
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