That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
