are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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