I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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