dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
