Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Will you blow on my dice?
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
