Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I have tasted many bathrooms
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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