This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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