I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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