I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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