My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize