you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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