Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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