Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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