How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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